Contentment & Ravenous Desire

Contentment & Ravenous Desire

Lately I am obsessed with heat.

It’s my fourth winter in this chilly mountain town. I used to muddle through the cold mornings, much colder than they have been lately. I used to sleep, curled in a ball, trying not to move, studiously avoiding the moment when, like ice, an untouched piece of sheet would brush my skin.

I took some sort of odd pride in my suffering.

It felt noble, like it tied me to the seeming virtue of the underdog.

Maybe I needed the cold and the discomfort. Maybe it was part of scrubbing away the last remnants of my old life, a life based on…on…Well, I can’t quite identify my sin. But when I arrived here, I was certain of my guilt, my complicity in a world that takes and takes and takes.

Now? You just wouldn’t believe it if you saw me.

I sleep all night with my heated mattress pad turned all the way to HI even though HI is a bit much. In the mornings, you can barely tear me away from the little space heater I use to warm my feet. I have taken to hauling it out to the patio so I can have heat and the sound of the birds chirping.

I think this obsession with heat is really me crossing some indelible, no doubt, Scarlet Line.

I am claiming something: luxury, comfort, joy…

I am becoming addicted, in the most delicious way, to the sound of my own heart beating a foreign rhythm. I think you might call it contentment.

Contentment & ravenous desire! I am hungry for life.

About The Author

Rebecka Eggers, Dream Midwife & Meditation Improv Artist, is the author of Coming Alive!: Spirituality, Activism, & Living Passionately in the Age of Global Domination. She lives in the mountainous highlands of Mexico, where she uses the tools of modern communication to make all kinds of trouble for every last stagnant, soul killing enemy of your potential. Rebecka helps you bring your dreams to life. She is trained as a Metaphysical Minister, a Co-Active Life Coach, a Reiki Master, and a tax lawyer (probably weren't expecting that last part, eh?).